Our Adoption Story

Our Adoption Story

Wednesday, February 1, 2017

Adoption is War

As we celebrate Bree's 2nd Birthday this week, I have felt super oppressed. Satan is not happy that she's getting cupcakes and presents and love this year and doing everything to keep me from celebrating her. I am very aware of the spiritual warfare in adoption, and was inspired to write this blog after I read a similar blog a couple weeks ago about the spiritual warfare in motherhood. 




Dear Wormwood,

Adoption just sickens me. Why these people want to invite a dirty orphan child, unwanted by his parents, into their family is beyond me. They waste thousands of dollars on a long process that culture thinks is “so amazing”. They think they’re acting like the Enemy, who adopts them. Well it’s repulsive. But, I’m impressed to see you using adoption for our good.

Whispering in the mother’s ear, “Did God really say you should adopt this child…” Wonderful tactic. She’s obviously having second thoughts. That’s good. It’s not natural for her to mother this child, and I’m glad you’re helping her feel that. Biological children in the family make our job so much easier! Did you even have to plant the seeds of comparison in her mind or did she do that on her own? Of course it was on her own. Sin is so easy for her! Her son commits the same childish annoyances as this adopted daughter, yet the adopted one receives the brunt end of the hypocritical mother's impatience. The Enemy is going to whisper to her that this child is her “own”. Make her feel the opposite- make her feel that distance of a child who did not grow in her womb. As she rocks her new child, make her feel that distance. Make her feel longing for the same emotions she had with her natural children.

The child is attached to her, which is somewhat disappointing. Of course, we created reactive attachment disorder to further our work- that really ruins the parents’ adoption. But we can use her attachment for our good. The child is clingy, insecure, needy= like a leech to the mother, sucking the life and energy out of her. It’s appalling how mothers will serve their natural born children. But this is different. This child is hard to serve.  The mother is becoming irritable, bitter, annoyed. How shameful! But, oh how wonderful to see.

Speaking of shame, I can see the mother is feeling loads of shame. She knows she’s doing an awful job with this adopted child. She feels her own irritability. She feels the selfishness is her own ugly heart. She feels like a failure to the Enemy. She reads adoption books and feels like she’s ruining this child. I love it! Remember, if she starts waking up depending on His (dare I say the Enemy’s name!) grace, we have been defeated. We want her to try to love this child on her own, and when she realizes she can’t she will be the defeated one. Success!

I heard that the child has started to call strangers she likes “Mommy”. Brilliant! Now the mother feels irritable at home and insecure in public when she realizes she’s failing “her” child. What a hypocrite. And when people tell her “She’s a good mom,” she will feel disgust without us having to do much work. Her friends and family only see the “good” in this child, so when she complains they will look at her like a monster. Empathy is our enemy. Make sure people judge her- after all, most adoptive moms have been won over by the Enemy, they seem perfectly attached to their adoptive children. We want this mother to feel alone in her sin and shame.

While you’re making so much progress with the mother, you are obviously failing with the father. Do you even have a foot in the door of his mind? It doesn’t seem like it. He loves that adopted child just like his biological. That's not good for our work. And he keeps working against us, telling the mother “we are the enemy”. Clearly the Enemy is at work in him. Maybe he’s a lost cause for us. Our voice must be stronger than his.

Don’t think I didn’t notice the “good day” she had with the child last week. The eye contact, mirroring, smiles, laughter. I about vomited. You had me worried when the mother had feelings of thankfulness for this child. But you saved yourself the next day. The child was extra clingy and whiney and her impatience was right back where we want it. You saved yourself from that mistake, but beware of those good days. They must be very rare. Give her a sliver of hope then snatch it away quickly.

It’s only been three months, but you’ve done great work in your attempt to ruin this adoption. I have full confidence in your destructive attempts.

Your Supportive Uncle,

Screwtape